Small Rituals and Everyday Pleasures
Lately, I’ve been in a funk. Finding small rewards, to get myself present and focusing, has been so rewarding.
You know, I thought I was really finding my groove when November of 2021 hit. I was writing one or two poems every single day, I was getting solid freelance work to make the income come in, and I was applying and pitching for five to ten jobs daily. It’s when I’m productive like this that I think that I’m on top of the world, but then I slowly begin to crash and become anxious, rendering me unable to do anymore work, thus creating this cycle when I bury myself deeper in anxiety because I’m not being productive.
And despite me being a poster-girl for boss babe hustle culture, I’ve found that I’m human. As much as I wish I could be pumping out content 24/7, I simply can’t. So today I thought I would share some habits that I’ve developed, things that are much deeper than, say, drinking a cup of tea before sitting to write or journaling. I do do both of those things, but I don’t want this to be superficial. They’ve helped me, but these are the things that really pull me out of my funk when I’m in one. Let’s dive into this!
Sitting down and allowing myself to watch movies and videos has let me realize I can take breaks.
There’s three majors things during this time that have contributed to this: YouTube, AMC A List, and the Criterion account that I finally cracked down and got. I have some issues with money when it comes to spending it, as I came from a family that literally worked its way out of poverty. Thus growing up, I was instilled with this mindset that money was something sacred and that you should handle it very carefully because you don’t know when you could eat or have simple luxuries.
But, thankfully, having worked two jobs consistently in college and having made money off of my writing, I was able to have a flexible disposable income during my gap year off. And so I finally learned that it’s okay to treat myself to little things as a way of serving as a break. Here’s what I’ve been watching and doing in order to allow that time.
YouTube
I used to have a major YouTube addiction, especially back when I was less into minimalism and liked to online shop a little too much. Going to FIT/a fashion school in general really puts the pressure on you to shop, especially because people at these schools are obsessed with shopping brands, whether it’s luxury or thrifting. And that puts the pressure on your wallet because you feel this need to spend, so the YouTube hauls and constant temptations don’t help.
One of my biggest hobbies tends to be people-watching, so YouTube is like a glimpse into people’s lives in a more intimate way. Here’s a list of YouTubers I’ve been enjoying lately:
Youjin. She does lifestyle content and is a student at Chapman University, so I like to watch her content to remind me of the good old college days.
ZoenotZoey. I’ve been obsessed with her for years now, but her lifestyle content is brutally honest. I love how open she is about mental health and not feeling great, which is refreshing to see among YouTubers. We’re also both FIT grads!
Mojave. She does aesthetic small videos about living in New York City.
Angel Zheng. I love her videos specifically about being a Marketing Manager; as someone trying to break into marketing it feels like a nice little insight that also gets me very motivated.
Freesia Park. Another FIT grad! I enjoy her lifestyle content a lot as well.
Claudia Kai. Her journaling content makes me feel so inspired and motivated to keep my own journals going.
AMC A-List
While living in New York City I had originally wanted this, because if you pay for AMC A-List you get to watch three movies a week at any AMC theatre with no blackout dates. My college dorm was literally next to an AMC theatre, and, let’s be real, New York City is full of AMC theatres, so I knew I was going to get my money’s worth. But then COVID hit, I moved away, and so that dream went away very quickly.
I can’t drive, despite living deep in suburbia. Even if I could drive, my family couldn’t afford to have a car for me, so it wouldn’t have worked out anyways. But the first time I went and saw a movie in theatres after the pandemic was largely dying down (though who knows what’ll happen next)—which was Dune—I was completely captivated yet again with the experience of going to the movies. In NYC, I went to the movies all the time, although I frequently inhabited the arthouse theatres of Greenwich Village.
Going to the movies is something sacred to me. So paying $24/a month and seeing two movies, thus getting my money’s worth, makes it completely worth paying for A-List. It gets me out of the house, it makes me happy, and for two to three hours I can escape into the world presented on the screen. Absolutely worth it.
Criterion
I also wanted this for the longest time but couldn’t justify paying $100 a year for a subscription as a broke student. Whenever I could get a free trial of Criterion I would abuse the crap out of it because of how much I wanted to see some of the movies on there. They have some really rare niche movies on Criterion with good subtitles, so it’s worth paying the $10 a month for it. I don’t want to commit to the yearly plan yet, since I don’t know what my income situation will be in a year or two, but for now I’m really enjoying unwinding by watching a movie.
Google Calendar has become a godsend.
I’m a workaholic. Everyone who’s met me in real life knows that I am driven to the point where I am always putting myself into my work and anything I set my mind to. But burnout is very real, so, at the end of the day, I need to be able to learn about being driven to give myself rest periods. I went to one of those specific American colleges—if you know, you know—where people are busy to the point that if they want to hang out with you, they’ll send a Google calendar invite. And that was my crash course on how to be available in college because otherwise I’d be one sad lonely freshman.
Nowadays I schedule every into my calendar. I’m that kind of person who if I don’t write something down or manage to schedule time for it, I won’t t do it. I schedule in my leisure time as well, but I also outline when I eat meals, which I consider leisure time. In the morning as I eat breakfast (usually leftovers I’ve foraged from the fridge, or my ever-so-famous noodle soup that everyone swears upon) I refuse to allow myself to watch television or anything that’s with a screen. I want to be present as I eat my breakfast, so I typically just stare out the window.
My only exceptions nowadays are that on weekends I refuse to do work. Those are times that I’ve carved for myself, for watching movies, and catching up on my reading. But yes, I do schedule out when I read and cook on weekends though as well.
Skincare is the perfect way to treat yourself.
I kind of hate myself sometimes because I didn’t get into skincare until after my brief stint in living in Korea. Although I was very budget-conscious during my two months of study abroad, I literally only picked up makeup and Kakao friends merchandise. It was one of the biggest tragedies of my traveling career and the next time I go to Korea I will right that wrong.
Anyways, though, I find skincare to be so refreshing and a step back from the work I have to do. Some of my favorite products are the Trader Joe’s rose spray, which makes my skin feel so hydrated. And it was only $4! I love Trader Joe’s, they’re amazing. But besides that I have a Dr. Jart moisturizer that makes my skin look absolutely beautiful, a Laneige sleeping mask and lip mask, and a rose cream from Fresh. Just taking some time away from my computer screen to engage in this small ritual of self-care is like chicken soup for the soul. It hits perfectly.
Read about other women’s routines. And then look at their websites.
One of my favorite things to do is to map out successful people’s trajectories and then figure out how I could mimic that in my own little unique way. Whenever I feel sad that I’m not some millionare Tik Tok star at twenty-one or a successful novelist, I go and look at how other people made their big breaks. And it’s comforting to know that a lot of people didn’t, say, find their golden writing opportunity until they were in their mid-twenties or even way later. When I do get the motivation to rise from my funk and get to work, reading these kinds of things helps me feel better and energized in a way of “hell yeah, I’m going to do big things in the future.”
I also really like to look at big writers for sites like Slate, New York Times, The New Yorker and see who they’re following. Then I go down the rabbit hole of looking at everyone’s sites, which then helps me with my trajectory-mapping as well as seeing the kind of content that gets published by writers I admire. It’s a win-win situation at the end of the day. And maybe I’ll get some awesome recommendations from, say, a random interview I found on someone’s site.
Here are two of my favorite sites to read about women: Into the Gloss and Passerbuys.
Cooking every single day for every meal.
I am the chef in my family’s household. Every single day I am in charge of cooking a dinner for four people that all four people (one of whom is my sister, the pickiest eater I’ve ever met. She literally only eats chicken if it’s breasts cubed in a certain way) will like and actually eat. I also take pride in knowing that I basically only cook healthy meals, since I tend to omit meat most of the time and, well, salt. Which is more difficult than you think since American supermarkets are absolutely filled too much salt. Even our white bread has a ton of salt included in the ingredients.
Every single weekday on my Google Calendar is allotted to cooking time. Sometimes it starts at 1 PM, but usually it’s 2 PM. Depends on how much prep I need to do for that day’s meal. I often schedule my work hours right up until this point, and so it’s a nice little reprieve from the grind of my hustle. There’s also something very creative about cooking and creating new recipes, something that I find that I’m weirdly good at. I like to try a lot of global cuisines but riff them in my own special way, such as merging Persian food with Korean food. It’s so satisfying to go off of what’s written on the recipe page and come out with some weird but delicious concoction that merely came out of my brain.
