Review of My Love, Don’t Cross That River / 님아, 그 강을 건너지 마오, directed by Jin Mo-young

My Love, Don’t Cross That River is a piece I’ve been dwelling on for years now. I first watched it when I got a MUBI subscription for the first time, and I remember I shed a tear when I finished the movie.

There’s something about simple documentaries about these, that don’t add in too much fluff and stick to the subjects, that hit the heart too perfectly. I never cry at movies and documentaries, but this one go to me if we’re going to be honest!

So I was thinking about it lately, and since it had been a few years since I watched it, I decided to revisit it and think about what the documentary does well in terms of telling these people’s stories from a certain angle.

Now that I’m older myself, I think I could find a newer appreciation for these two, especially since I’ve gone through the academic research on Korean history in the post-war era.

Before I ramble too much, here’s my review!

The story of a marriage that lasted over seventy years.

This is a documentary focusing on a married couple in their elder years. There’s a bit of a age difference between the man and the woman, as she in her eighties and he’s approaching one hundred, but it doesn’t seem like they’re the ages they are.

They move quite well for their age and play with each other, their minds still agile despite having seen so many years pass by. At the beginning of the documentary, everything is normal for them. We’re introduced to the fact that the husband dies at the beginning of the documentary, but then we revert back to the past when they’re together.

They go shopping, hit each other playfully, say hi to their children and grandchildren who come to visit throughout the days. One of the most prominent aspects of this first part of the documentary is how in love the two of them are.

It is obvious as to why their marriage has lasted this long, as they genuinely care for each other and their children. They come from a time when the grandmother was married off at a too-young age, but still they continue to stay together.

Everything shifts as the husband, now approaching husband, begins to look unwell. This is the beginning of the end of their time on Earth together, and the second half of the documentary is his slow descent into poor health and passing away. In the beginning of his illness he is still able to move around and talk to his wife, but by the end he can only sit in his bed, barely able to speak.

Their six children come home in time to see their father before he passes, leaving his beloved wife behind to navigate a world without him.

This is a slow movie that progresses through the way life does in the beginning half, and because we have an inkling of how it’s going to end, I think it makes us appreciate the love and kindness we do witness before it gets bad. I’m someone who’s pretty cynical about the concept of love, as I think we’re often pushed into this narrative that doesn’t fit human nature that we have to be legally tied down to XYZ person forever and if you back out of it, there are terrible consequences, but seeing these two together gives me hope.

It makes me think about how people can make it work through the difficult times, and the fact we often have to willingly choose to be in love and open with another person. A lot of people can’t do that and will choose themselves first over another. But not these two.

Overall Thoughts

It’s such a gorgeous documentary and I’d recommend anyone to watch it, unless they’re going through the loss of another or grief in a different kind of way.

In the end, I think I leave documentaries like these even more contemplative about the role I have in the world, due to the reminder about mortality, and how we make other people’s lives more kind. I hope you, my dear reader, can walk away from such documentaries feeling moved and inspired about the world. I can see why this got so much love when it first came out.

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