Living a Compassionate Life

I think I’ve truly started to unlock the secrets behind life.

I used to think my life was pretty purposeless, and that I was a burden to society. This is something that has always been rooted in my psyche; apparently, when I was six years old, I expressed suicidal tendencies for the first time. This didn’t really expand until I was much older, in middle school, when I was severely depressed and actively suicidal. And this has been something that has haunted me for the majority of my adult life, as I live in fear of someone triggering the landslide that was my depression.

It took a really bad slump at the beginning of the pandemic for me to get my act together and to start realizing what was important to me. I wanted to help people, I knew that because I never wanted people to feel how alone I was feeling all the time. The word “lonely” has always been a sore spot for me, as whenever someone tells me they’re lonely, it’s been code for suicidal. That sends me into protective mode, completely disregarding my own mental health in the process.

So I was dedicating my life to others at the beginning of the pandemic, and as I grew more involved in youth organizations and volunteering online, I started realizing that this actually made me really happy. Deep down, I knew I thrived when I saw the people that were in my life start to right their wrongs and move on a path that would lead them to greater happiness, even if I wasn’t in the picture anymore. This led me to getting involved with TYWI (The Young Writers Initiative) and EduMate, which has now led to extensive work in nonprofits.

Something I had always read was that the poorest people are the kindest people. I understand that a bit more now; when you feel like you have nothing in life, giving part of the little you have means nothing to them. Sometimes I find myself wishing I grew up in a more community-based society, one where people weren’t trampling over each other. I have been told I am too kind, too much of a pushover. But I just don’t believe in forcing things, and seeing where things will take me in the long-run.

By being compassionate, we are being more kind to ourselves and others. If you can’t be kind to yourself, you will never be able to be as kind to the people around you as you think you can be. People will tell you to change for this harsh world. I know have been told that again and again. Don’t change. The world needs your compassion, and, just for the day, if you are kind to one person, you can change the trajectory of that individual.

I’ve been a lot happier since realizing this. I really have been.