curating the set of your life: interior design

The way you decorate your home can really impact your headspace.

I grew up in a a house that didn’t have a lot of money. Every year, for Christmas, my mother reused the same ornaments and decorations that we had for up to twenty years; our Christmas tree, which wasn’t real, was even over twenty-five years old. My parents had lived in poverty for the longest time, even were in Section 8 housing for a good chunk of my eldest’s sisters childhood, and certain habits always stuck, even when we were financially secure and solidly middle class now.

Home decor never really was on my radar until I went to fashion school. I actually almost changed my major into Home Products Development because my sophomore year, as an elective for my Fashion Business major, I took Introduction to Home Products. The professor was the President of Martha Stewart and the class was entirely based around showroom visits. Each week, we went all around NYC and visited the major players as they prepped for Market Week and major launches. It was so cool, and it furthered my interest in the home world even more.

Then I landed an internship at Fashion Snoops, the fashion forecasting company, to work in the Home and Interior Design department. I don’t think I was that good at the work they did, but the research and sheer amount of brainpower that went into what they did truly amazed me. That’s where I really began to dig deep into the world and psychology of home products. There’s a lot that goes into this, did you know that?

The Psychology of Ownership / A History of Interior Design

All the way back to the Ancient Egyptians, we saw humans having this desire to decorate their spaces based on their personality. Obviously, back then, we didn’t see fancy ornaments that we use today, but instead woven textiles, decorative urns, animal skins, murals, and sculptures. We can see resemblances of this when observing Egyptian tombs; they, too, are ornately decorated in a similar manner t- one’s own home at the time.

The Greeks and Romans furthered the Egyptian tradition, and were very similar to each other. Here, in these eras, we begin to see more minimalism-inspired homes. A singular piece of art could hang on the walls, but the beauty would be in the architecture—the arches on the walls and doorways, the pillars, etc.—and the furniture itself. Basically, we’d imagine a modern day museum to be what they enjoyed during this era. This is a stark contrast to the Islamic Golden Age; if one goes to the ancient mosques in the city of Esfahan, for example, they’ll find bright blue walls, and religious scriptures and poetry scribbled in the tiles themselves.

Since the beginning of human history and civilization, once nomadic tribes began to settle down, humans began to collect objects. The poor often would only have what they need, but, in spaces of royalty or monarchs, we can observe palaces full of riches and decorative objects. As stated in this article, our sense of ownership in the modern day begins at the age of six; we begin to place significance on certain objects at this age.

Our possessions almost reflect who we are, and, for some cultures, show off our status. In my family, whenever an Iranian comes to visit, my father puts on this grand and fake show about who we are. He puts decorative plates and teapots out, fills the bowls full of fruit. The visitors never notice. Unless you don’t have it, then they notice and probably gossip about you later.

As stated in the article mentioned before, this reinforces that notion: “As well as shoring up our sense of identity, our possessions also allow us to signal something about ourselves to other people. In a romantic context, there’s evidence for men using the purchase of showy items – known as ‘conspicuous consumption’ – as a display of status and availability to women. A study led by Jill Sundie showed this was specifically the case for men interested in casual liaisons, and moreover, that women interested in casual sex were attracted to these overt displays of costly consumption.”

Cluttered Spaces Stress You Out

Many of us realized this during the pandemic: when you have a house full of crap you don’t need and suddenly you’re stuck inside for long stretches of time, you slowly get more and more stressed out until you clean it up or get rid of it. Unless you’re a hoarder, of course, then you relish in living in a pile of what many might think is trash—but hey, one man’s trash is another’s treasure.

I’ve written about this before, but for me, as the child of a hoarder, unclean spaces in general, pandemic or not, really get to me. It stresses me out to look in a fridge that is just piles upon piles of possessions. And, somewhere along the way, you lose your identity as a person. Why, might you ask, do you lose your identity? For people who rely on possessions exemplifying their identity, when something of importance becomes buried in the rubble, you’re literally losing a piece of yourself in a way.

For example, you lose the jewelry that your mother gave to you upon her death. Another layer to this is that it was passed down in your family for generations. How will you feel in this scenario? Like a failure? Like you’ve betrayed your family? That’s a pretty stressful situation, and I know for me I’d be clambering to find the jewels.

How to Tackle Your Own Room

Take a look around your room, house, apartment, whatever you’re living in right now. Do you feel that it represents you? Does it make you feel anxious in any way? What are you holding on to from the past that is no longer there?

I used to date someone who had his ex’s business card literally taped to his desk. Front and center, like a reminder of who she was. They’d been broken up for a bit now. That was literally a very unappealing thing a guy could’ve had on his desk. But it’s the perfect example of how we cling to items that we deem significantly important. We’re afraid to throw them out because they, or the person they belonged to originally (in the case of the business card), once used to matter to us so much.

There’s a fine line between the jewelry example in the previous section and the business card here. One is a family heirloom, while the other is a guy clinging to a distant relationship. Learning to let go of the past when it no longer serves you is a fine art, one that you need to learn during your lifetime lest you’re going to accumulate things that ground you in something that you don’t actually want to be grounded in.

In the words of Marie Kondo: which objects spark joy? There’s a lot of truth to this. But what also contributes to a major part of your identity? That also should be considered when moving forward with decorating your space, since it is indeed your space. It’s a reflection of you at the end of the day, and you should feel at home in it.

So go and be free! You don’t know what you’re actually capable of until you’re doing it :)